Whoo-doggie did I need this book right now.
Studying some of the areas I’m working on in my mental health has been pretty eye opening. Dr. Brene Brown’s book is amazing because she explains so clearly why we think we’re supposed to be something that we’re not. And she weaves you through the process of letting go of the “gunk” that’s holding us back.
My favorite parts:
D = DELIBERATE: Get deliberate in your thoughts and beliefs – through prayer, meditation, or simply setting intentions.
I = INSPIRED: Get inspired to make new and different choices.
G= GOING: Take action.
Dig Deep — get deliberate, inspired and going. When procrastination attacks: Prayerfully, intentionally and thoughtfully do something restorative.
Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
Brene’s definition of compassion: feeling totally exposed and completely loved and accepted at the same time.
We protect ourselves by looking for someone or something to blame.
In our technology-crazed world, we’ve confused being communicative with feeling connected. Just because we’re plugged in, doesn’t mean we feel seen and heard. In fact, hyper-communication can mean we spend more time on Facebook than we do face to face with the people we care about.
Giving and receiving: Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgement to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgement to giving help.
Living a “wholehearted life”: The Wholehearted journey is not the path of least resistance. It’s a path of consciousness and choice. And, to be honest, it’s a little counterculture. The willingness to tell our stories, feel the pain of others, and stay genuinely connected in this disconnected world is not something we can do halfheartedly. To practice courage, compassion and connection is to look at life and the people around us, and say, “I’m all in.”
When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing and proving.
Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield. Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight.
Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment and blame.
When we experience something that is difficult and requires significant time and effort, we are quick to think “This is supposed to be easy; it’s not worth the effort”, or “This should be easier: it’s only hard and slow and I’m not good at it. Hopeful self-talk sounds more like, “This is tough, but I can do it.”